Top Five Films

celluloidIs it really possible to think about all the films that I’ve watched – and believe me, there have been plenty – and boil them down to my top five favourites? Oh how the hell would you know?  Only FIVE, eh?  Maybe my top five John Cusack films (the cool of you will make the connection)… but pick five from the hundreds, nay THOUSAND (of) films I have watched in my life time.  I don’t think it can be done… but hey, we’ll give it that old college try.

As a quick aside, top five Cusack films… easy-peasy:

  1. Gross Pointe Blank
  2. High Fidelity (natch)
  3. Grace is Gone
  4. 1408
  5. Say Anything (25 years ago, this was my #1 pick of all films… after ET… and Bambi)

Wow, I just realized how many years I have been hangin’ around this rock – not saying that I’m old per se, just been around for a good bit of time.

The next five Cusack films would be

  1. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
  2. The Jack Bull
  3. The Griftersigor
  4. Igor (still can’t hear the name Kevin and not laugh)
  5. Runaway Jury

We won’t talk about “Money for Nothing”.  I know, all actors make stinkers at some point in their careers, but this was the stinkiest.

Back to the topic at hand – my Top Five Films.  There are quite literally hundreds of thousands of films that have been made since the dawn of celluloid, perhaps even a million.  I’d count them for you but that would take too long.  I’m sure someone on the interwebs has already done that.  Wait here, I’ll check…

…Insert Jeopardy theme song here…

So the answer is, roughly 700,000 not including shorts, indies, porn and Bollywood (according to IMDB)… so in total, probably over one million.  But considering the speed at which films are generated these days, if you read this next month the answer could be two million.

I enjoy many genres of film; action, adventure, rom-coms, comedy (I loves me a good slapstick), disaster porn, tasteful erotica (you know, sexxxy… with a plot), and of course, chick-flicks.

Frank N FurterMaybe I should go with my fave from each genre, or top five from the flicks that I actually own…

I have a small collection of about 150 films on DVD and – as of the typing of this blog – and four on Blu-ray.  I also have a selection of films on VHS because I haven’t found them yet on DVD.  I still have an old school VCR just in case I ever want to watch them (it’s not plugged in wasting electricity, it just sitting there, collecting dust).  Anyway, these are movies that I watch over and over; enjoying them just as much the 37th time as I did the very first time.

Okay, top films by genre (from my personal film library… and there’s way more than five):

Disclaimer: these are my picks from the films that I own.  You may very well disagree, and that’s fine, this is one of those times I am not asking for your opinion or to debate my choices.  I’ve included my definitions of categories as well.

  1. Action (defined as thrilling and exciting … hero-type stuff): Die Hard (two is my favourite)
  2. Adventure (defined as not your everyday-type stuff): Indiana Jones (preference is for #3 although they are all quite good)
  3. Animated (defined as, well, animated): Ice Age
  4. Chick-flick (defined as girly-type film without being all kissy-face): Steel Magnolias (Return to Me is a very close second, throw in Legally Blond and you’ve got the trifecta of chick-flicks)
  5. Comedy (defined as really fucking funny):  Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  6. Disaster Porn (defined as epic destruction for destruction’s sake): Earthquake
  7. Drama (defined as boring to teenagers and most men): Casablanca
  8. Erotica (defined as sexy and plotty all at the same time): The Delta of Venus
  9. Fantasy (defined as stuff that doesn’t happen around here): Lord of the Rings
  10. Family (defined as G-rated, kid friendly, wholesome-type stuff): ET
  11. Horror (defined as that which scares the living piss out of me): The Exorcist (Director’s cut)the Exorcist
  12. Musical (defined as lots of singing and perhaps even some dancing): The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  13. Rom-Com (defined as funny AND romantic, kissy-faces):  10 Things I Hate About You (also scored high in the Teen Angst category)
  14. Sci-Fi (defined as outer spacey-type stuff): Star Wars (Episodes four through six)
  15. Teen Angst (defined as teenager growing pains-type stuff – not a real film category, but how the hell else was I going to get Mr. Cusack on this list): Say Anything
  16. Western (defined as cowboy-type stuff, lots of dirt and horseys): 3:10 to Yuma

Well, there you have it.  My top five films looks a lot like 16.